For a very long time, I have been living in what cosmopolitan magazine may describe an affluent/hip neighborhood. I never took much notice of it until recently when I moved out of it. Boy, is there another world outside what I have known!? Also, I became very spoiled with everything accessible to me in that familiar location. Because of that, I used to think that I am very low maintenance. I was wrong on that one?! I have been wrong on a lot of things without realizing it. O and I am still wrong on somethings, just need loved ones to help me recognize that ? Bottom line, I have been living in a delusion.
Now that I commute from my new location, I notice various scenes that did not bother me before. Half of my commute consists of people who have so much worries written on their foreheads. And when you have such, then you become less attractive, even if you complement your outer garment with an up to date look. “I do not find much attractiveness in my commute now”. This thought in and of itself is a biased one. For beauty lies in the eye of the beholder… And I thought I was down to earth?!
- “Say: Whatever you conceal what is in your hearts or bring it into the open, God knows it: for He knows all that is in the heavens and all that is on earth; and God has the power to will anything.” Quran (3:129)
I have had a couple of conversations with people during my commute and the whole human experience now is a sad saga. Experiences aside, what have we become?! Seriously, what are we aiming at? What has become our motives and objectives? Ah, the labeled lifestyle, work, keep busy, make money, have fun, party hard… and this will help you refrain from getting to know the real purpose of your existence. At the expense of what? Wasting your human qualities to achieving temporary worldly gains only!? Any typical teenager knows that money does not buy happiness and the happiness in this universe is experienced on a moment to moment basis only. Really, what is civilization and society teaching us or pushing us towards? Keep running after transient satisfaction…hmm… Something to think about…
What has human life become? Human life has become a struggle. We have lost touch with our humanity, and we do not know what it means to be given existence. What are we running after? Our worldview is very secular, and our end goal/aim is just worldly gains encompassing temporary pleasures. We believe in a Creator but alas this Creator is absent from our lives. This is no different than living in a vacuum. Just want to bring our attention to our human reality as of now. Nevertheless, all this is making my spirit realize what I have become. If any of this resonates with you, then hope you ponder over these questions as well along with my spirit, a human spirit entangled in the upheavals of what civilization offers us, which is far from our innate human disposition.
First of all, we love to identify ourselves with things we do, products we buy and people we hangout with. All that is not wrong but what kind of value or meaning does it give my spirit? Are we obliged to identify ourselves with outer garments? Again, something to think about…
Yes, I have accumulated lots of biases without realizing it. While I have been trying to diagnose my feelings/wants/desires, it occurred to me that all my desires are meshed in with societal influences. I am grossed out with this type of nurturing. This societal fed nurturing has resulted in so many insecurities within the human being. Yes, we do value things that are trivial to one’s spirit and we pretend not show it. Example: Yes, I do feel good walking in upscale neighborhoods. I do feel great stepping in high end fitness centers. I would not settle for anything less. (Thank God to free open space in the park, at least you can catch ultimate Frisbee ?, even that got me uptight as I noticed myself comparing the crowd in the park.) Ahh… I do miss good ambience and stress-free beautiful faces… Again, why do I value this so much? Something to think about…
Our likes and dislikes are part of our human nature, that is what makes us a human being with dynamic characteristics. What am I implying here? What I am getting at is that beautiful scenery is appealing to the human eye, sitting at a café in a hip neighborhood late in the evening is a different experience than somewhere else and getting to the beach walking distance after work is the dream commute… but one should not lose their humanity to it. All these examples of various feelings (likes/dislikes) within one’s being are given to ponder over the nature of one’s existence i.e. what truly matters or is essential to my being. So, what if I keep commuting to the beach after work every day for the rest of my life, is that it? Have I been given existence for that? Is that the purpose of my existence? Something to think about…
“Yes, I consider myself a well-rounded individual as I have lived in different places growing up and am well-acquainted with different cultures.” This pitch may surely give you an edge while trying to impress a hiring manager or a potential someone, but that does not make any one free of preconceptions. We all carry our biases to some level but as long as they are recognized, then mission is accomplished! We need to learn to develop a reasoning pattern free of biases. How is that possible? Here is a two-step approach to tackle any subject matter:
- Concern yourself with any thought/idea critically.
- How is this idea related to me existentially?
- Is this idea brining in any value to my spirit?
- Look into any matter as a free-spirited person?
- Am I confirming this idea truthfully?
- Am I being critical towards myself or the other?
Although this is a short self-check-in process, the fact of the matter is that it takes a while to execute it seamlessly within. As the adage goes, the more you practice, the better you get at it. Don’t you feel the need for a detox right away? Feel free to check out Pilgrimage (Hajj) series here to better acquaint oneself with the meaning behind a spiritual cleanse: https://ifw.ha-mim.org/tag/hajj-series/
Example: the universe is created by a Creator but the qualities in the universe happen to exist by themselves. Can a rational human mind accept that qualities manifested in matter self-exist? Would that imply that I am self-existing or what?! Yes, the truth is seemingly bitter for I have been misperceiving things.
No one can claim that they are free of their prejudices, it is a work in progress. However, it is unbelievable how many biases we carry, but it becomes a blessing when we start realizing them one by one. So, what if you have one way of doing something or understanding a concept, does that mean that you should not be open to check out another’s view point? Rather than being lazy, making all sort of excuses, and still standing on your stance (what I say is right, it’s my way or the highway), more importantly, check your understanding with a critical lens!
- It would be a bias attitude:
- if you are not open to investigate what something/someone has to say and
- if you do not bother to critically analyze yourself, your thoughts and ideas.
Sure, listen in attentively to everything that is being presented but only accept what makes sense to you. The confirmation within you is personal to you and that is what belief is.
- “Say: I take refuge with the Lord of Daybreak” Quran (113:1)
Check out the series from chapter Falaq (daybreak) at this link here: https://ifw.ha-mim.org/tag/falaq-series/
Finally, coming to terms with realizing your biases is a huge step in itself because often we are quick to see mistakes in others. That is to say, we often over-look our own mirror that needs to be cleared off the dirt. The fact of the matter is that everything around us is a message reflecting what is right and what is wrong. Example: using the knife to cut yourself is wrong, whereas using the knife to cut fruits and vegetables is right. One’s biases can only be realized by experiencing the universe. Without getting the taste of existence and recognizing our needs to be given existence, we cannot know about the dirt that we have accumulated. It is as if mold is sitting on clear water and that needs to be cleansed.
Are we ready to question our hidden biases and pull them out into the daylight, or still let them stay in the darkness of our negligence?
- “He it is who has created you: and among you are such as deny this truth, and among you are such as believe [in it]. And God sees all that you do.” Quran (64:2)